What was all that then
In the tradition of posting a random DeviantArt journal every few years, here's what's been happening. Spoilers: Mostly bad.
After my last post in Feb 2019 I went on to publish about a page a month for the rest of that year. The support from my friends on Patreon and eventually on Webtoon was a high point of my entire life. I took two story research road trips that helped me gather some great material for the New Orleans and 'Traveling West' chapters. I was still struggling to balance 5-6 part time jobs but overall I'd say things were good. I could even afford to eat sushi sometimes.
Things fell apart in 2020. Pretty much immediately. A guy I'd been long-distance dating dumped me via text on New Years day. Four days later I had a confrontation with my parents about religious/lifestyle/political differences that made me realize it was time to part ways again. To sum up: they made it clear they had zero respect for my autonomy. I was scrambling to raise money for a move when the pandemic hit, and suddenly the stress of working several public-facing jobs got dialed up to 11. Meanwhile the whole fascist uprising was going on. I could tell you horror stories for days.
So there I was, working on my comic about a fascist regime that rose to power after an insurrection that happened in part because of a terrible plague, where the main protagonist runs away from manipulative cultist parents-- while daily Tr*mp parades motored down the street outside the house of my christian fundie parents I was desperate to escape. Did I mention I came up with this story in 2009? They say reality is stranger than fiction. I'm worried I can't tell the difference anymore.
That October I managed to buy a livable RV and park it on a local farm.
At the start of 2021 I had to quit two of my jobs while I waited for the vaccine, one of my guinea pigs died suddenly, I completely cut ties with my family for a while, and I had to evacuate for a week during the ice storm. On the flip-side I did eventually get the vaccine, adopt another dog, and take on extra farm work that's made me kinda buff. 👀
More than half-way through the year I'm still reeling. I'm trying to get comic production back in gear with the next disaster on the horizon. It's so unimaginably hard to focus on a multi-year art project when I don't even know where I'll be living 2 months from now. Then again... every ounce of trauma has only helped me see the story clearer.
The Long Game
On January 21st I finally posted the first pages of my comic. It... went really well. I didn't become insta-famous or anything (didn't expect to) but friends from all over have tuned in to show their support. I can't describe how awesome it's been. I LOVE making comic pages! I love telling this story with art.
The instant support this project got on Patreon definitely blew me away. I'm so happy I actually get to make wallpapers for people and share my process videos. Gosh, even making the videos is a blast. I love working on this whole project. This month I get to do the first patron character design and it's gonna be AWESOME!
I actually need to chill out a bit and remember that this is a very long game I'm playing. The updated storyline is currently 170 pages and so far the 2.5 comic pages I've completed make up the first HALF PAGE of the written version. As they say here in Texas, "WOO DAWGIES." Oh yeah, and the written version only tells about 20% of the story.
I always knew this was going to be a 600+ page project that would take me years to finish, but somehow seeing that math in action is a lot more humbling. I know I have a long way to go artistically too. I'm happy these pages turned out as good as they did but I would like to see myself improve the way I stylize characters. Right now I'm leaning too heavily on references. My pacing is sloppy because I have no idea what I'm doing (yet). Mostly I want to get better at making the pages just... look nice. They need to be prettier. I've never been good at pretty so that's a goal I'm setting right from the start. I'm still trying to find an artistic 'groove' I can really rock.
Once I finish the prologue (in a few months) I'll post the whole thing to Webtoon and then I'll REALLY get serious about sharing it. Right now I'm trying not to shout too loud while I don't have enough of the story posted.
Time to get back to work on page 4! I'm so excited to introduce all these characters who've lived in my head for 10 years so that I can die from shock the first time someone starts to care about them.
****All my links****
Fear of Success
I don't know if I hit rock bottom but this is certainly a low point. Nothing makes you rethink your life like hitting an all time low. From down there there's no fear of failure 'cause you done failed. The worst has happened. You're 26, you have no local friends, and you're back to eating discount frozen pizza. Why not pour all my energy into my long-time creative project, Black Magic?
I started writing Black Magic in 2008 and the current, updated storyline is about 120 pages. This year I finally sent the first 7 chapters out to test-readers and was shocked by how positive the feedback was. Problem is, I don't want to publish it as a novel. Ever since I read Minna Sundberg's "A Redtail's Dream" in 2014 I've had this crazy dream of turning Black Magic into a webcomic.
people who have told me this is a terrible idea include:
• Ashley Cope (the amazing creator of Unsounded told me it's a life-consuming job with few rewards and an impossibly low rate of success, and she's not wrong)
• Chris Oatley (or whoever replies to his emails told me I'd have a better chance sticking with concept art instead)
• my Grandma (just wants me to work at the local grocery store so I can meet a man and fall in love)(no it doesn't make sense)
I've been working towards creating that webcomic for 4 years now by studying other comics, developing concept art, editing my story, and taking creative writing and illustration classes wherever I can find them. This summer I finally buckled down and finished a full story outline and created some cover art.
I still haven't created a single page of the comic.
What am I waiting for? What on earth is there for me to still be afraid of? I'm a broke no-name artist with a sh*tty design degree, debt, depression, and dogs.
I just want to tell a story. I want to make it something beautiful. I want to be the best freaking comic artist there ever was. Okay, that escalated quickly.
Moved!
I brought my dogs, turtle, fish, and guinea pigs with me and we got here just in time for Hurricane Harvey. yaaaaaaaaaaaaay. But in all seriousness, Houston is awesome. I've got an apartment on an abandoned golf course and it's kind of like living in a secret nature park that's patrolled by 80 year old women in golf carts and this one random old guy with a golf club who I'm 83% sure is a benign ghost that I always see down by entrance to the 'Fairyland' trail. Anyway, I love it here even though it can be lonely sometimes.
As soon as I got here I got rid of 40% of my stuff because I'm living in a studio apartment instead of a two bedroom house like I had in OKC. Then I cut my hair off. Cutting my hair was awesome. For the last two years I vowed not to cut it until I escaped OKC and it was nearly down to my hips (it grows an inch a month I hate it). Now it's wonderful and short and my dad hates it but there's no pleasing some people.
I've started a freelance design business and I'm learning as I go. I fully expect to fail at a lot of things. That's life. So far I've managed to make enough for the essentials and even a little extra. For my short term life goals, I'm still working on becoming a full time illustrator, I've started taking Krav Maga lessons, and I'm learning Spanish. I still need to start those guitar lessons.
I'm considering a trip to India next year and if that falls through my fallback is Germany. It's been 7 years since I visited so I miss it a lot. Lordy, what I wouldn't do for a Leberkäse semel....
Aaaaaand that's all for now folks. Party on.
The Jingle Crew
The new dog is the scruffiest mutt on planet earth, and I've named him Han Solo.
Piper loves him but I don't think I'll be able to until he stops peeing on my furniture. Yeah, it's bad.
Right! Art stuff! Yeah, there hasn't been much of that. I still have a million and one ideas but they've settled down and made themselves comfortable with tormenting my soul. If only I could publish all the illustrations/paintings/animations I finish in my mind. Yesterday I mentally story-boarded an entire animation to the tune of 'Ready,Aim,Fire' that had a scene from each of the Eighth Doctor Adventures novels. Just one of the many things I can see myself doing but can't actually do.
I've started attempting to start to learn 3D modeling, so that's good. What I should really be doing is practicing web design.